


Cease and Assist

by notebookthief



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Drinking, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sexual Abuse, god this is fucked up, im so fucking sorry, why did i write this? shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 12:00:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4786553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notebookthief/pseuds/notebookthief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi helps Kageyama move away and move on.<br/>Sequel to Use and Abuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cease and Assist

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes when im feeling down i go through my fics and read the comments and get all giddy and theres exactly 1 comment on the fic previous to this one and the person wanted a sequel and I HAPPENED to want to write kageyama so. this fucking happened. and i hate myself. this fic is suffering and i hate it.  
> also, i dont condone the shit oikawa does. its not okay. if you know anyone who seems like this sort of thing might be happening to them, or you relate to kageyama in his experiences, /please/ talk to someone with authority to help you. it's not your fault and you dont deserve whats happening to you. thanks

“I’m busy.”

 Kageyama is glad he doesn’t have to face Oikawa to say this or he couldn’t. He’s lying through his teeth, wonders if Oikawa can tell - he probably can, even though he’s written down his elaborate lie and recited it ten times at least.

 “Really?” Oikawa asks through the phone. He doesn’t sound convinced. “That’s too bad. I was hoping we could have some fun.”

 Kageyama knows exactly what _fun_ entails, and his hand grips the counter too hard. “Sorry.” He doesn’t want to apologize.

 “I’ll call again soon,” Oikawa says after a moment. The phone clicks off and Kageyama breathes a sigh of relief.

 He didn’t know he was shaking until he sinks to the floor, legs unable to hold himself up anymore. He doesn’t move from his spot in the kitchen for at least an hour, muffling sobs into his hand and pouring his regrets out through it.

****  
  
  


“Were you able to do it?” Akaashi asks quietly. He’s glad he doesn’t have to be at home right now, glad he has his friend’s apartment to stay in, because he sees Oikawa in everything.

 “Yeah,” he says brokenly, like he’s not sure if it was the right thing to do, and he’s not.

 “I’m glad,” Akaashi replies, full of warmth, and it briefly washes away phantom fingers on his hips and his throat and his ribs, ghostly lips dragging down his spine, and the scent of fruity alcohol and mint. He almost starts crying again.

****  
  
  


Oikawa lives up to his words and calls again soon, too soon, but Akaashi is there this time rubbing his shoulders and anchoring him. His voice doesn’t shake as much, but his heart feels like it’s going to burn out.

 “Hello?” he asks, though he already knows it’s him.

 “Tobio-chan~ I was thinking you, so I thought I’d call.”

 Oikawa’s voice is sticky-sweet, practically a purr, and Kageyama starts trembling. Akaashi takes his hand reassuringly.

 “I thought since you were busy last time I called, you’d be more up for some fun than usual. I happened to have some spare time on my hands - you’re usually free saturdays, right? You won’t have to sneak off like usual.”

 The last part has a tinge of malice in it. Kageyama wants to say yes, wants to give in, wants to stop the shaking and the thick throat and the churning stomach and let Oikawa have his way with him.

 Akaashi squeezes his hand firmly, and Kageyama grips it back hard enough that he’s sure he catches the other wincing.

 “I’m sorry,” he says, swallowing harshly, “but I have plans with a friend.”

 There’s a pause, only just the slightest bit too long, and Kageyama knows that Oikawa is suspicious. “You’re not usually the social type, Tobio-chan,” he says, and Kageyama can imagine the frozen smile on his face. “You should tell me about them over drinks sometime.”

 Oikawa hangs up before Kageyama can refuse, and he’s grateful because he’s not sure he even could. He doesn’t let go of Akaashi’s hand or relent in the pressure he puts on it.

 “You did very well,” Akaashi says, gentle and soft. Kageyama pulls him down and curls into him and just shakes and breathes.

****  
  
  


Kageyama is able to refuse every time Oikawa calls. He’s usually with Akaashi when he does, and that makes it easier - infinitely easier, even if he still cries every time they hang up.

 Sometimes he mimics bruises Oikawa would have left. He digs his fingers into his own thighs, his own hips, his own neck, and squeezes until a satisfactory purple comes up. Akaashi never says anything, but Kageyama can see the drop of his expression when he sees them - and he always sees them, Kageyama hardly tries to hide them at all. He feels guilty, and the guilt makes him feel better and worse all at once.

 Oikawa thwarts his refusals by showing up on his doorstep on a night Akaashi is conveniently away, slick smile in place and a bottle of something Kageyama knows will make him sick in hand.

 “Tobio-chan, you’ve made me so lonely these past few weeks, I just had to come check up on you,” he says; he’s already a little buzzed, Kageyama can tell, but not enough that this wasn’t intentional, wasn’t planned, wasn’t timed down perfectly.

 Kageyama lets him inside before he can stop himself, drinks half the bottle, and lets Oikawa remind him what real bruises feel like.

(Oikawa doesn’t stop talking, can’t stop asking questions Kageyama can give no answers to. “Did you miss me?” he says against his collarbone, “Was it worth it to avoid me?” he asks to his hips, fingers curled inside him, “Did you think I was going to accept it so easily?” he murmurs against his lips. Kageyama doesn’t say a word; he shakes and shakes and _shakes_ until Oikawa decides he’s finished with him.)

He knows Akaashi can tell the bruises are new when he visits him the next day. He doesn’t lie about who gave them to him, or why two now-empty coffee mugs are out, or why there’s an empty bottle of fruity liquor on his counter and aspirin at his bedside table. He doesn’t bother to mask the scent of Oikawa’s cologne that clings to him, or tidy his post-sex hair, or trash Oikawa’s note.

 He feels guilty, too guilty, and he’s ready for Akaashi to leave his own bruises or just leave period. He’s too perceptive and he knows immediately when he steps inside what’s happened. Kageyama can’t look him in the eye.

 Akaashi takes him in his arms and mutters, “It’s okay. I forgive you,” into his shirt and Kageyama _breaks_.

****  
  


Kageyama stays with Akaashi after the third time Oikawa drops by. It feels strange - he lived with Oikawa for a short time, when he was moving from one apartment to another, and it was -

 Kageyama prefers not to think about it.

 Akaashi doesn’t guilt him over using his food or electricity, doesn’t keep him trapped in the bedroom for a whole day, doesn’t make him earn anything. Sometimes, Kageyama expects him to - he’ll move in a certain way or phrase something differently from usual and Kageyama will flinch.

 (“If you’re going to stay with me, you have to earn your keep,” Oikawa murmured, coy and already stripping. “So be a good boy and put on a show and I’ll think about giving you dinner.”)

 Akaashi apologizes every time. He makes sure to avoid saying anything wrong more than once, and does his very best, but sometimes Kageyama forgets anyway.

 He’s practically asleep when Akaashi returns late from work, and he’s roused when he hears the door click shut. He sits up off his futon and squints at him.

 “Oh,” Akaashi says, slightly apologetic, “you were sleeping.”

 (“I thought I told you to stay up for me, Tobio-chan,” Oikawa said. “How am I supposed to relieve my stress if you don’t even have to stamina to stay up a few hours?”)

 “Sorry.” Kageyama says before Akaashi can get out his own apology, and crawls towards him. “I’m sorry.”

 (“Sorry doesn’t get you anywhere,” Oikawa said, clicking his tongue and undoing his slacks. “Prove it to me.”)

 “Kageyama, wha-” Akaashi starts, but Kageyama is already hazily nuzzling his crotch, rubbing his nose and hand and mouth against it. “Kageyama-”

 (“Open your throat, baby, don’t wanna choke~”)

 “Kageyama!”

 He stops briefly and Akaashi grasps his face hard, tugging him upward. “I’m not Oikawa,” he says firmly. “Look at me. I’m not Oikawa.”

 Akaashi’s face comes into focus and Kageyama blinks at him, coming out of his half-dream half-hallucination.

 “Akaashi,” he breathes, tears already welling up in his eyes.

 “Yes,” he says, strong and blunt and nothing like Oikawa. Kageyama slumps as Akaashi’s hands pull away from his face.

 “I’m sorry,” he chokes out, “I’m sorry.”

 Akaashi assures him that it’s all right, he’s not hurt or offended, but Kageyama repeats the words like a mantra. He doesn’t stop when Akaashi gathers him into his arms, doesn’t stop when he strokes his hair, doesn’t stop when he rubs soothing circles on his back.

 “I’m sorry,” he says again, for the final time, rubbing tears from his eyes.

 “I know,” Akaashi says, kissing his forehead. It’s enough.

****  
  
  


Kageyama doesn’t answer the next time he calls.

 He would have had Akaashi not stopped him, and he’s glad he did. When he listens to the voicemail Oikawa leaves, he feels sick.

 Oikawa yells at him and calls him names and blames him, over and over, calls him pathetic, calls him weak, promises that Kageyama will come crawling back to his bed - Akaashi shuts it off before it’s even halfway finished.

 “Are you okay?” he asks carefully.

 “I will be,” Kageyama assures him, wiping his eyes, and he will.

****  
  
  


Akaashi never initiates anything.

 Sometimes he doesn’t allow Kageyama to, either, when he’s feeling particularly down. He doesn’t let Kageyama use him as a replacement, refuses to have sex with him at all, and when his head is clear he’s grateful. When it’s not, he’s upset.

 “Please,” he says, trying to unbuttoned Akaashi’s shirt, trying to mouth at his neck. “I need it.”

 “I said no,” Akaashi says, anger clipping his tone, and he pushes him away. “You don’t need it, and I don’t want it.”

 “Please,” he says again, choking back Oikawa’s name so it doesn’t slip out.

 “No.”

 

 (Sometimes when he kisses Akaashi it still feels like Oikawa, but he doesn’t mention it so he can keep kissing him. He points out their differences - Akaashi is shorter and his hair doesn’t have product and his nose feels different, he doesn’t taste like alcohol and mint, he doesn’t push, and his hands settle around his neck and not too-hard on his hips.)

 

 Sometimes Kageyama wonders if he wants him at all, is attracted to him, or if he’s just putting up with him so he can cope. He wonders if kissing is all Akaashi can tolerate, if that’s why he never initiates. Sometimes, he even works up the courage to ask.

 “I want to kiss you,” Akaashi assures him. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t. I just don’t want you to feel any pressure.”

 Kageyama wants to assure him he won’t feel pressured, but bites it back. He doesn’t want to lie to Akaashi. Not about this.

****  
  
  


Once, Oikawa shows up at his workplace.

  Kageyama sees him before Oikawa has a chance to turn his head and catch a glimpse, and runs to the bathroom - full-on sprints, and he wonders if Oikawa saw the motion. He locks himself in a stall and sits on a toilet, pulling his feet up so they can’t be seen, and calls Akaashi.

 “Hello?” He sounds drowsy. Kageyama inwardly curses himself for waking him up.

 “He’s here,” he says, and his voice comes out too-strained. He swallows hard. “He’s at my workplace. I’m hiding in the bathroom.”

 “I’ll be there soon,” Akaashi says without hesitation, and hangs up the phone.

Akaashi arrives in twenty-eight minutes exactly, walking into the first-floor bathroom and softly calling his name. He opens to bathroom stall and reveals himself.

 “Were you doing breathing exercises before I got here?” Akaashi asks. Kageyama nods. “Good. Keep doing them. Are you okay to leave?”

 Kageyama shrugs. “I guess so,” he says, quiet and unsure. Akaashi offers his hand.

 “We’ll go together. Don’t look at Oikawa unless he talks to you, okay? If you want, I can speak to him for you if he approaches us.”

 “I’d like that,” Kageyama says, and takes his hand, letting himself be pulled out of the stall.

 “It’ll be okay,” Akaashi assures him as they step out of the bathroom. “You’ll be okay.”

 Kageyama takes a deep breath and tries to believe him.

 “Oh, Tobio-chan, you’re finally finished!!” Oikawa calls. Kageyama keeps his head down and his hand gripping Akaashi’s. “We hadn’t seen each other in so long, I thought a surprise visit would be nice. Let’s go out for some drinks.” He eyes their hands clasped together, and his mouth twitches - Kageyama knows he wants to frown but he keeps his cheery composition. “You can bring your friend if you like.”

 “Oikawa-san, I presume?” Akaashi says, the essence of polite. He doesn’t smile. “We should talk outside.”

 “What is there to talk about?” Oikawa asks, raising an eyebrow, but Akaashi is already heading towards the door, Kageyama in-tow. Oikawa follows without hesitation.

 The street is crowded enough that Oikawa won’t throw a fit, Kageyama is sure; he is infinitely grateful for that fact, despite having to compose himself. “Was there something you needed to say?” Oikawa asks once they’re outside, sweet, open, fake.

 “I apologize, but Kageyama will no longer be able to join you as he previously had,” Akaashi says curtly. Oikawa’s eyebrows go up as he crosses his arms over his chest.

 “Really? Why?”

 “We’re - um-” Kageyama fumbles for words, and Akaashi squeezes his hand.

 “We’ve entered a romantic relationship,” Akaashi says smoothly, his face completely neutral. Kageyama can feel a blush creeping up his neck.

 Oikawa scoffs. “Tobio-chan hasn’t dated anyone in years. He’s just not capable of it. Right, Tobio-chan?”

 Kageyama doesn’t say a word. Oikawa’s eyes narrow.

 “That’s surprising; me and Kageyama have actually started living together, and there haven’t been any problems so far,” he replies dryly; it’s the first time he smiles, small and smug and ruthless.

 Oikawa hums. “Well then, I’ll leave you two be.” He leans down quickly just as Kageyama starts to relax and whispers into his ear, “Don’t forget to call me when you get a craving, Tobio-chan.”

 His breath is hot against his ear and Kageyama shivers and tenses. Oikawa is gone before he can reply.

 “Let’s go home,” Akaashi says. Kageyama nods.

(Later, when Akaashi is sleeping, Kageyama checks his text messages. Oikawa calls him pathetic, calls him needy, says he’ll come running back to him begging, that Oikawa won’t accept him, won’t forgive him, he’ll never move on. Kageyama deletes every one.)

Akaashi feels too kind to Kageyama. Sometimes he feels filthy, sometimes helpless, sometimes alone, and Akaashi is there for all of it - he kisses scars Oikawa has left and right over his heart, holds him through everything, walks him through it.

 “Don’t you get tired of me?” Kageyama asks, more than once, scared that Akaashi will leave him.

 “Not of you,” Akaashi reassures him. “It’s frustrating to see you like this, but I knew what I was getting into. If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be.”

 Kageyama learns to stop asking, both himself and Akaashi.

 (“You’re never going to be capable of love, not with a face and personality like that, so why don’t we just agree to have some fun, Tobio-chan?”)

 “Keiji?”

 “Hm.”

 “I love you.”

 Akaashi smiles, pure and soft and so real it makes Kageyama’s heart ache. “I love you too, Tobio.”


End file.
